


Every Little Thing (Is Gonna Be Alright)

by Yours_Truly_Commander_Shepard



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Sequel Trilogy
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Crack, Current Stormpilot, Current Timeline Reylo, Devoted Reylo, Established Relationship, F/M, Fluff, Fluff and Crack, Graduate School, Kink Meme, Kinktober 2019, Macro/Micro, Minor Armitage Hux/Rey, No Preylo, Oral Sex, Orally Generous Ben Solo, Past Abuse, Past Poe Dameron/Ben Solo | Kylo Ren, Sadly, Soft Ben Solo, Vaginismus, mentions of past abusive relationship, sexual healing
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-10-09
Updated: 2019-10-09
Packaged: 2020-11-28 08:17:54
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,092
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20963396
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Yours_Truly_Commander_Shepard/pseuds/Yours_Truly_Commander_Shepard
Summary: A soft story of sexual healing.For Kinktober 2019, "Terrified Arousal."  Prompt- Micro/Macro.





	Every Little Thing (Is Gonna Be Alright)

Baby don't worry about a thing

Because every little thing

Is gonna be alright- Bob Marley

* * *

“I think it’s time,” Rey tells Poe and Finn on a beautiful Sunday afternoon, bracing her hands against the picnic table. 

Poe nods sagely, taking another large bite of his tuna and pickle sandwich, but Finn tilts his head at her.

“Time for what?” Finn asks innocently. He’s already finished his neatly packaged leftovers, so Rey isn’t worried about ruining his lunch. 

“I’m going to have sex with Ben,” Rey says.

Still Finn winces, and Rey’s glad he’s not eating anything he could choke on. Poe snickers at his boyfriend. 

“Okay, first of all, TMI, feel free to never talk about this again,” Finn says. “Second, you haven’t? It’s been like six months! Maybe you should just break up with him instead.” 

Finn has never forgiven Ben for dating Poe first. Apparently, for that unforgivable sin, Ben doesn’t get to date anyone else, ever again. 

Rey had her doubts about Ben--so big, so brooding, so quiet, so  _ big _ \--but he’s won her over. She was ready to give up on men forever in light of the horror that was her last relationship, but Poe’s strong recommendation convinced Rey to go out for coffee with Ben after the last life sciences interdepartmental volleyball game. And then a foreign movie she couldn’t really follow even with subtitles. And then a Disney movie that Ben did not like but watched attentively without pulling out his phone even  _ once _ . 

He’s her boyfriend now. They have a routine and secret jokes and pet names for each other. She met his mother. And then, separately, his father.

She just hasn’t seen him naked. They’re stalled out at second base.

Which is fine. Actually, more than fine. It’s been really, really good. 

Ben’s a great kisser. He has a way of nuzzling the corner of her mouth that drives her wild, if by wild she means getting goosebumps and then giving him a polite goodnight 10 minutes later so that she can spend the rest of the evening with her vibrator. 

Ben hasn’t pushed for more. Has never said a word about it. There’s zero pressure to do anything else. But the way his eyes followed her during Kaydel’s pool party--the way he spoke to her boobs the entire time, the way he gripped her thighs during the chicken fight with Finn and Poe, the way he toyed with the knot of her bikini when she kissed him in Kaydel’s kitchen--she thinks he’s ready too. 

“I want to,” Rey says firmly. And there’s a part of her that does. That is thrilled at the idea that she’ll get to run her hands all over Ben’s beefcake body. That he’ll put those lovely, full lips to good use. That the last person she slept with won’t be her godawful ex anymore. 

Poe puts a comforting hand on her shoulder.

“It will be okay, I promise,” he says, brown eyes warm with sincerity. 

Rey tries to match that smile. If Poe thinks Ben’s good in the sack, she’s sure he is, objectively speaking. Poe’s obviously done the survey work and knows what he’s talking about. Rey’s sure Ben will be thoughtful and generous about this, as he is about everything else. He’ll probably go down on her, and she’ll probably love it. 

It’s the sex part Rey’s dreading. 

Sex hurts. Not all sex, of course—Rey’s external bits are present and accounted for and do what they’re supposed to do. But when God was handing out vaginas, he gave Rey one that always feels at least two sizes too small. It’s good for absolutely nothing--not tampons, not fingers, and sadly, unfortunately, troublingly, probably not Ben Solo’s dick either. 

It is the major impediment to dating him. He has big shoulders and big hands and big feet and Rey is pretty sure his dick is so big he can’t bring it into most federal buildings without declaring it and submitting to a weapons inspection. She can just tell by the way he acts. The way he walks. 

Poe knows what Rey went through with He Who Shall Not Be Named. He was there for her tears and self-flagellation and that last screaming fight. He might not know the name of her diagnosis, but he heard Hux’ sneering words about Rey’s supposed frigidity and her “busted box.” 

So when Poe told Rey to give Ben a chance, she listened. And so far, she’s so glad she did. It’s just time to find out whether they’ll be able to make anything resembling a sex life work. 

Finn takes his trash and walks down the hill to the bin, mumbling to himself about knowing too much about Rey’s business. 

“Do you think I could just take, like, some drugs? Maybe some Advil and a Benadryl?”

Poe tilts his head and smiles at her.

“I think you should talk to Ben about that,” he says. 

“Oh sure,  _ communicate _ , whatever, who are you, my therapist?” Rey says. She pays for that kind of advice. Poe’s for clever schemes and unworkable plans. 

“Or ooh, do you think Rose can steal me some ketamine from the rat clinic?” she asks, putting a finger on her lower lip. “Maybe fully unconscious is the way to go.”

“Don’t think that’s Ben’s kink,” Poe says, slurping down the last of his grape Fanta (what is he, 10?) and burping loudly (6, maybe?). 

Rey bites the inside of her mouth to keep herself from asking Poe. She’s promised herself she won’t. It’s weird to ask for sex advice from a guy who used to bang her boyfriend. Super duper weird.

“Do you think,” Rey blurts out, before she can talk herself out of it, “that he might be okay with just doing oral? Like, forever?” 

God, she’s going to run Poe off too and then she’ll truly have nobody to talk to if this goes sideways.

Poe does look a little queasy. His eyes follow his own boyfriend down the hill. 

“I think,” he says slowly. Then he stops. Shakes his head. “I think you should… _ talk to him _ .” 

And then he’s loping away, and Rey has to pick up all their trash herself.

* * *

Rey’s pretty sure Ben knows tonight is the night. Usually they go out; Ann Arbor has plenty of bars and galleries and theaters, and if they’re feeling adventurous, Ben has a car and they drive in to Detroit to take advantage of what the big city has to offer. So when Rey asks if they can stay in and watch a movie in her apartment, she’s pretty sure the jig is up.

Ben shows up with a bottle of wine but doesn’t say a word about anything but the movie. Rey has to think fast to come up with something neither of them has seen, but soon they’re cuddled up on Rey’s couch, watching a Chris in superhero armor fight some manner of alien creature. 

It’s not the most romantic setting in the world, but Ben’s happy enough to neck with her after she turns down the volume. It feels a little like high school, inasmuch as Rey liked dating and making out with boys before the question of sex was constantly on the table. 

As usual, Ben’s not trying to make anything happen. His lips are warm and soft on hers, and his hands rest gently on her face and shoulders. Rey’s never going to be over the novelty of a man who wants to kiss her just for the pleasure of kissing her, exactly, but this time she does want it to serve as a prelude for something more. 

So she breaks away and grasps the bottom of her t-shirt. Ben holds still as she yanks it up and over her head, but his gaze drops immediately to her bra. It’s nothing fancy, but it’s still underwear, and he hasn’t seen it before. He’s smiling, pleased, and his expression is gratifying when Rey reaches back and undoes the back catches of her bra as well.

There’s a beat where they’re just looking at each other, and Rey feels that old self-consciousness creep out of where it hides while she’s with Ben. 

“They’re, um, really small, so it’s okay if you’re not-“

Ben shushes her by leaning forward and wrapping his beautiful lips around a nipple. He sucks hard enough to make Rey gasp, then turns his head. 

“You have gorgeous tits,” he says against the dip between them. “Absolutely perfect.” He toys with them both with the fingers of each hand. And sure, his hands are probably too big for her tits. But he’s gentle. Purposeful about it. His thumbs trace gentle half circles beneath her breasts while he catches her nipples between his knuckles.

And some of the tension fades from Rey’s body. He’s not a selfish oaf like Hux. He’s going to at least try not to hurt her. 

“Ben,” Rey murmurs. “I’m feeling…” her voice trails off. 

“Yeah,” he responds.

“I’m, um, I’m really turned on right now,” she says, wincing at how not smooth she is. She hasn’t ever had to be the one to make the first move. And it’s good that she is doing that now. But she doesn’t quite know her lines yet.

The look Ben shoots her is dark and melting. His eyes were the first thing she noticed about him. How expressive they were, set in a face that could have been too fierce in its shape.

“Do you wanna…” Her voice trails off in a hoarse whisper.

Rey thinks she’s as wet as she could really get while thinking about sex. Ben’s hands and lips on her breasts feel utterly fantastic, and she knows she’s going to get more nervous when their pants come off, thinking about next steps. It’s best to rip the band-aid off, so to speak. 

“I do,” Ben says. “I want to make you feel good. Can I?”

And that’s the million-dollar question, isn’t it? If anyone other than Mr. Rabbit ever could, Ben’s the man to do it. Rey nods, trying to look eager.

Ben shifts over her on the couch and tugs on the hem of her shorts. They go over her thighs with her underwear, and Rey is left naked, curled next to Ben. Ben shoves her wadded clothes away. 

Rey wonders if she should suggest a change of venue to her bed, but Ben seems to know what he’s doing. 

_ Oh thank God _ , she thinks as he rolls down to the floor in front of her. 

Ben smiles up at her from his knees. Rey breaks into a grin of giddy relief. She hasn’t been lucky enough to be on the receiving end of this act very many times, but she’s a whole-hearted enthusiast. 

Ben lays sucking kisses down her stomach while his hands stroke her inner thighs apart. Rey doesn’t need any urging to spread her legs wide and lean back on the couch. She sighs in contentment as Ben runs the tip of his tongue in a long figure eight around her clit and down through her folds. 

She pats her hands through the soft curls of his hair then links them with his where they rest on her thighs. 

Ben’s mouth is talented and mobile, and he flicks his tongue over her clit to make her back arch, then soothes her again by sucking on her lips, one by one. 

“What do you like?” he breaks away to ask with a hot breath against her inner thigh.

“This is totally getting me there,” Rey tells him ardently. “God, Ben, you’re really good at this.” 

“Well, thank you,” he says, and she can feel the smile against her cunt. 

“Fingers?” he asks casually, and Rey tries not to stiffen. He’s got paws like Polish sausages; she doubts she’ll ever be comfortable with even one.

“No thanks- I’m sure they don’t have anything on your mouth,” she says, trying to sound breezy about it. 

He kisses her sweetly just over the hood, then dives back in. 

Rey can count on one hand her orgasms not delivered by Mr. Rabbit. But under Ben’s dedicated efforts, Rey soon finds herself thrusting her pelvis impolitely against Ben’s face, and then moaning his name as she comes on his mouth. It’s enough to leave his lips wet and sticky when she takes a hold on his hair and pulls him up. 

It brings tears to her eyes, how happy she is that this is how their first night together started. No matter where it goes from here, she’ll be able to focus on how good this was. Her taste on his lips is earthy and honest, the same way his arms are when he pulls her into his chest.

“Hey, hey, why the tears?” he asks, his voice soft with concern.

She buries her face against the solid warmth of his chest.

“I’m just- this will sound stupid, but I’m just really happy. I, um- I’ve had some bad experiences, I guess. And this was a good one.”

Ben’s quiet for a long time while he processes that, but his arms stay tight around her. 

“I understand,” he says eventually. “I really do. And Rey, all I want to do is make sure it’s amazing for you every time.” 

“You did, baby, you did,” Rey sighs. “That was the best I’ve ever had, you know?” 

“Really?” his voice sounds smug. “That just makes me want to beat my own record.”

And Rey giggles, thinking they need to move things to the bedroom now. But then Ben is kissing his way back down her body, and her eyes widen when she realizes what he meant.

“Really?!” she echoes him as his hands spread her thighs for him again.

“Really,” he says, licking over her cunt for the second time that night.

* * *

“We did it!” Rey chirps as she sets her lunchbox down the next day.

“I’m out,” Finn moans, grabbing his empty Tupperware and sprinting towards the exits. 

“Coward! I’ll tell you everything later!” Rey shouts after him. She sits down, looking at Poe’s amused face and Rose’s confused one. “I had sex with Ben.” 

Then she frowns. “If oral counts. Oral sex counts, right?” 

Poe snickers. “What is this, heteronormativity club?” he gives a quick circle of his finger that takes in himself and Rose. “Of course oral counts. Glad you two figured things out.” 

He’s got Strawberry Guava Fanta today, and he tips it at Rey. 

Rey smiles at him. “Well, he did at least. I was so sleepy after the second round that we just put anything else off until tonight.” 

Poe pauses, puts the soda down. “Oh.” 

Rey tilts her head at him. “You’re still worried about me. Well, you shouldn’t be. I mean, even if doing anything else totally blows goats, we’ll still have this.”

“’We’ll Always Have Cunnilingus’ sounds like a great one-act play,” Rose offers. “I could write that. Do you think that’s a misuse of my FDA grant? Is it too late to change my PhD to theater?” 

Poe gives a long-suffering sigh. “Am I allowed to just repeat what I said the first time, that you should talk to Ben about this?”

Rey steals a fried plantain off his plate. “Well, you’re not dating him anymore,” she points out. “Why should I listen to you?”

Poe retaliates by snatching her entire bag of Doritos. “Believe me, too much talking was not the reason we broke up.” 

* * *

By the end of the week though, Rey is wondering if maybe this talking business might have something to it. She and Ben have made it through most of the MCU back catalog on her couch, Rey’s lost track of her total number of orgasms, and she’s yet to get Ben’s boxers off.

In fact, the most she’s gotten off is his shirt, and then only because she was riding his face reverse-cowgirl style and she announced the desire to play with his nipples.

Is it what she said? About having had bad experiences? If so, he didn’t need to take it quite so hard to heart. She doesn’t think she’ll ever like P-in-V sex, but she’s honestly curious what he’s like, at this point, and she does want to reciprocate. She’s started to fantasize about sucking him off, in fact. She imagines licking the tender skin of his balls and running her lips over the soft head of his cock. She knows he wouldn’t fuck her face without her permission or pull her hair so that she has to deepthroat him or go bald. Ben’s not like that. She’d like to blow him, she thinks. It would be a good experience for both of them.

But every time things heat up between them, Ben is lunging to stick his head between her legs. He rolls neatly away whenever she tries to get a seat on his lap or a hand down his pants with a clear preference to making their only point of contact his face and her pussy. And it’s not like she’s ever going to  _ mind  _ that. It’s a blast, a carousel ride, a moon landing every time. But she doesn’t want to feel selfish, and she doesn’t want Ben leaving unsatisfied.

“Is he just buttering me up to drop his weird kinks on me?” she asks Poe when her thoughts take a dark turn. They’re supervising a new crop of undergraduates taking their lab safety test. 

Finn pops his hands over his ears. “I’m singing Taylor Swift in my head, I can’t hear you,” he proclaims.

Rose is perfectly willing to speculate. “Oh my god, what if he’s into, like CBT exclusively, and he’s just building up an orgasm reserve so that you have to put the clamps on him when it’s his turn?” she squeals, clapping her hands over her face. 

Rose has been single for a while and reading a lot of very dirty fanfiction.

“Oh my god,” Rey echoes, turning to Poe. “Is it something like that? Is he just waiting to drop the other shoe on me? I like him so much. I can do anything but piss. Is it piss?” 

Poe puts one hand over his face, and the other on the shoulders of his trembling boyfriend. He rubs Finn soothingly.

“Earmuffs, sweetie,” he says. Then he turns his head to look at Rey. 

“Look, I shouldn’t even say this, but I’ll tell you that Ben Solo is as vanilla as a church social sundae. And also, for the last time before I’m out of this conversation forever, that you should  _ talk to him _ .” 

And with that, Poe takes Finn out of the lab, leaving Rey to google “CBT” while Rose laughs at her and the undergrads watch them uneasily.

* * *

That night, Rey buys the wine. Then drinks half the bottle before Ben gets to her apartment. She’s not afraid he’s going to hurt her anymore, but she needs the liquid courage to talk to him honestly about why his pants are staying so stubbornly in place.

Ben comes in with a bunch of daisies and a DVD of George Clooney’s Batman.

“I thought we’d move to the DCU,” he says. “Halloween is soon, and nothing’s scarier than the Bat-Nips.” 

Rey takes both gifts away from him and presses her hands to her heart.

“I really, really like you, Ben,” she tells him. He goes quiet and still, no doubt waiting for the ‘but.’ “I think about you all the time. This has been amazing. The more time I spend with you, the more I want to.”

She forces herself to walk closer to him, put a hand on his chest. Why are words so hard?

“Do you want to have sex with me? Sex where you come too? If you don’t, that’s okay, I’ll still want…”

“I do,” he interrupts her, his voice gravelly. She steps closer, winds her hands around his neck. 

“You do,” she repeats. “You- you know I trust you, right? And that- I know it’s not going to be like it was before. You’re so good to me.” 

Ben’s face is drawn with some kind of stress, and his hands rest loosely on her hips. 

“I know,” he says. “And that’s it. I just don’t want to…disappoint you. I don’t want to fuck this up. This is the best thing I’ve ever had.”

Rey nods. She thought that would be it.

“I understand, baby. We’ll just be careful with each other, okay? We’ll take it slow. And I’ll let you know if anything…”

Ben is fumbling at his belt buckle. Okay. So this was happening in her kitchen. 

“Right,” she says, trying not to give him the stink eye. “I’m still thinking this would be most comfortable in my bedroom. Do you-“

“We can do it in your bedroom, if you still want to,” Ben says with a sigh. He’s not quite meeting her gaze. She supposes he wants her to know what she’s getting herself into. That’s sweet, but she’s braced herself for anything up to and including hard salami-sized. 

He whips his belt out of the loops and tosses it aside. Then unbuttons his jeans with slightly more care. He steps out of them. Now he’s down to his boxers. The poor guy must be really nervous, because it doesn’t even look like he’s-

Ben shoves his boxer briefs down. It takes Rey’s brain a moment to catch up. Then another moment to locate it.

It. Is the size of a baby carrot. 

It will haunt her for months that her first, tragic, involuntary reaction is to laugh. She did NOT laugh at him. It is purely 100%, unadulterated relief that makes her laugh.

But Ben’s face crumples like wet tissue paper, and he immediately bends to grab for his boxers.

“This was a mistake,” he hisses.

And Rey lunges for him. She knocks him back against her kitchen island, manages to pin his arms against his sides. That puts the subject of their attention somewhere about tit level. And it is warm and alive and slightly interested in her body, even if Rey can tell that Ben’s only half-hard and his heart is beating like a war drum.

“I didn’t mean it,” Rey pleads. “Baby, please, stop. Stop. Stop. I love you. I love your cock.” 

Ben freezes. He lets go of his boxers, at least. 

“What?” he whispers.

“I love you,” she says. Babbles. “I love you so much. I meant everything I said. I love you. And I’m going to love having sex with you and your absolutely perfect cock.”

Ben takes a deep, shuddering breath. He doesn’t move a muscle. “You don’t have to say that,” Ben says stiffly. “You don’t have to lie to spare my feelings. Nobody goes looking for two inches of dick. If you love me, just-“

“I do,” Rey says quickly, turning her face to him again. She tries to press kisses against him but gets mostly stomach and pubes. She’s undeterred. “I love you and both inches of your beautiful, perfect cock. I cannot wait to have sex with you. I mean it. I cannot wait. It’s going to feel amazing for both of us.”

Ben is quiet, mostly because Rey has sunk further down on her knees and located the head of his penis with her lips. It feels delicate and warm and she can suck the entire thing into her mouth without fear. She gives it a firm pull and Ben groans.

“I just- ah, Rey, Christ, that’s- I just- I know what people think. I didn’t want you to- oh, fuck, babe, your mouth- be  _ disappointed _ .” 

Rey pulls off just long enough to smile up at him. “You could never.” She can wrap one hand all the way around his cock, leaving the other free to toy with his balls. “And,” she promises, “If you’ll carry me into my bedroom, I can promise you  _ very _ authentic squealing if you feel like pounding me into the mattress.” 

Perhaps Ben is vanilla, Rey thinks as he hoists her over his shoulder. He’s a simple creature with simple needs. And she is too. Everyone wants to be loved. Everyone wants to be told they’re loved. And everyone wants to find someone who gives them the orgasms that absolutely nobody else in the world wants to hear about.

“Ever again,” Finn says emphatically, when Rey tells it all (most) the next day.    
  


**Author's Note:**

> There are so many people to credit (blame) for this. Ever-So-Reylo for encouraging this, Jeeno2 for beta'ing the whole thing, and KyloTrashForever for the moodboard and her reluctant approval of Ben's beautiful little penis. 
> 
> Kinkshame me @YTCShepard


End file.
